Welcome To My Secret Spot


Ok, so it's not so secret--but it should be Top Secret Classified information-because I'm taking you through the dark, craggy, crevices of my dirty mind-sharing with you the sweet and the sordid thoughts, dreams, and stories that play themselves out in my head( and occasionally in real life). Sit back and relax--forget about the day's troubles and join my journey of debauchery. This blog is not for the kiddies, so if you are under the age of 18-be gone.

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Monday, June 8, 2009

Thinking...Thinking...Thinking

I've been reading some deep blogs lately. Beautiful blogs in which people freely bare their souls, sharing their thoughts, their hopes, their fears, their past,their present, and their dreams of the future. You might say "Tigress, that's what all blogs do, that's what they're for". Wrong. Not like this. I connect to these blogs in a way I never have before. I don't know why it's taken me so long to find these blogs or these wonderful, down to earth, real people. I guess I was just looking in the wrong place. (Thank you Twitter, you piss me off sometimes...but you've opened up a whole new world to me, and for that...I still love you).

To those of you that are brave and open enough to do this, I envy you. See, I am one of those that typically hides my emotion beneath a charming smile (unless it's anger, I can sometimes express that emotion far too easily, but I'm working on that). I've always been one to try to handle my shit on my own and I keep my negative emotion's bottled, hidden away--tucked neatly back into that dark space of my soul where no one else can see it...I don't know if it's because deep down I don't want to feel I'm putting a burden upon someone else, or if fear just keeps me from finding the right words, or if it's just trust issues with the world in general.

I can write fiction or fantasy all day long (can't promise it would be good, but I could write it). Ask me to sit down and write a simple paragraph about how I "feel"...and I'd be stumped. Perhaps it's not "stumped" as much as it is so many things would come flooding to the surface at once, it seems it would be impossible to recover one pearl of coherent thought from the tide.

But these blogs have me thinking, deep thoughts. Good and bad. These blogs have not only inspired so much creative expression within me...they have inspired the urge for emotional expression as well, a need to open up. A purging, a cleansing if you will. 

I haven't quite worked up the courage to lay it all on the line yet, but I feel the tide rolling in.

Update: Oh, and I think I'm PMS'ing (look, that's personal...this could be the start of something good) 

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2 comments:

Alix said...

It's hard baring your soul like that, facing judgement from other people, but sometimes it's easier to deal with things once you put it out there...

Tomboy Tigress said...

Thank you so much for that input. I really do admire bloggers that can share such vulnerabilities without the fear of any judgement that may come. But I imagine, to do so can be quite therapeutic and healing. I hope I can reach that point.