I feel discouraged with all the challenges enveloped on the table
like never ending bills
what is on the other side?
If I have charged too much on illusions, well collect with interest
the humor of my madness
and fistfuls of hair
I have been paying my dues with a brokenness, reaching the tender
ebb and flow of living without a clue to what is next
or what it will demand I sacrifice
Darling, let me lay my head on your lap
gently stroke my hair as I ponder these things
for yet I feel such strength and invigoration
to face such things with the love of another
Isn't that my lot as a parent, lover, friend?
To give back in this splash within the bucket
I stopped being afraid that I am not enough
and put that foolishness behind me in order to step forward from my insecurities
taking responsibility for
becoming who I want to be
and I am becoming...me
You see I never wanted to be the rock people smash themselves against
I wanted to be the sand that drifted with the waves of a heart
permeable enough to be moved by compassion
yet settled enough to be at the shore of all the unknowns and know my place
and what is right for me
I never wanted to be so afraid of the harm others can do
to my needing
that honest, rightful place of humanity
I never wanted to be afraid of vulnerability
it is such that demands the new risk, not dry and old
but the now in the flesh with a little more wisdom to gauge it
Well I am not totally there yet
baby steps and progress
But hey, I will sacrifice for it
I will give away what I got and then make myself
available for more whether kicking or screaming in the lashes of discipline
whether stupefied once again and shouting, “What the hell do I know”
I will love with all I have
I will stand in the fire and squirm forever trying to perfect it
defects and mistakes in all
trial and error
stubbornness and stupidity
progress and success
steps and stumbles
I will make it -no doubt, all determination.
like never ending bills
what is on the other side?
If I have charged too much on illusions, well collect with interest
the humor of my madness
and fistfuls of hair
I have been paying my dues with a brokenness, reaching the tender
ebb and flow of living without a clue to what is next
or what it will demand I sacrifice
Darling, let me lay my head on your lap
gently stroke my hair as I ponder these things
for yet I feel such strength and invigoration
to face such things with the love of another
Isn't that my lot as a parent, lover, friend?
To give back in this splash within the bucket
I stopped being afraid that I am not enough
and put that foolishness behind me in order to step forward from my insecurities
taking responsibility for
becoming who I want to be
and I am becoming...me
You see I never wanted to be the rock people smash themselves against
I wanted to be the sand that drifted with the waves of a heart
permeable enough to be moved by compassion
yet settled enough to be at the shore of all the unknowns and know my place
and what is right for me
I never wanted to be so afraid of the harm others can do
to my needing
that honest, rightful place of humanity
I never wanted to be afraid of vulnerability
it is such that demands the new risk, not dry and old
but the now in the flesh with a little more wisdom to gauge it
Well I am not totally there yet
baby steps and progress
But hey, I will sacrifice for it
I will give away what I got and then make myself
available for more whether kicking or screaming in the lashes of discipline
whether stupefied once again and shouting, “What the hell do I know”
I will love with all I have
I will stand in the fire and squirm forever trying to perfect it
defects and mistakes in all
trial and error
stubbornness and stupidity
progress and success
steps and stumbles
I will make it -no doubt, all determination.
