I've been reading some deep blogs lately. Beautiful blogs in which people freely bare their souls, sharing their thoughts, their hopes, their fears, their past,their present, and their dreams of the future. You might say "Tigress, that's what all blogs do, that's what they're for". Wrong. Not like this. I connect to these blogs in a way I never have before. I don't know why it's taken me so long to find these blogs or these wonderful, down to earth,
real people. I guess I was just looking in the wrong place. (Thank you Twitter, you piss me off sometimes...but you've opened up a whole new world to me, and for that...I still love you).
To those of you that are brave and open enough to do this, I envy you. See, I am one of those that typically hides my emotion beneath a charming smile (unless it's anger, I can sometimes express that emotion far too easily, but I'm working on that). I've always been one to try to handle my shit on my own and I keep my negative emotion's bottled, hidden away--tucked neatly back into that dark space of my soul where no one else can see it...I don't know if it's because deep down I don't want to feel I'm putting a burden upon someone else, or if fear just keeps me from finding the right words, or if it's just trust issues with the world in general.
I can write fiction or fantasy all day long (can't promise it would be good, but I could write it). Ask me to sit down and write a simple paragraph about how I "feel"...and I'd be stumped. Perhaps it's not "stumped" as much as it is so many things would come flooding to the surface at once, it seems it would be impossible to recover one pearl of coherent thought from the tide.
But these blogs have me thinking, deep thoughts. Good and bad. These blogs have not only inspired so much creative expression within me...they have inspired the urge for emotional expression as well, a need to open up. A purging, a cleansing if you will.
I haven't quite worked up the courage to lay it all on the line yet, but I feel the tide rolling in.
Update: Oh, and I think I'm PMS'ing (look, that's personal...this could be the start of something good)
